Lessons from The Bear
Reminder: It's time for your Weekly 1:1™
Today's agenda: Lessons from The Bear
The question on the table: What can a chaotic kitchen in Chicago teach us about leadership, trust, and becoming?
⚠️ Spoiler alert: if you haven't watched The Bear yet, this one gives things away. Go watch it first. All of it. You're welcome.
The Bear is an incredible show, about an incredible group of people. (I already miss them - I think I'll miss Richie and Neil most of all.)
Somewhere between the yelling and the crying and the food and the grief, the show gave me a masterclass in human behavior and leadership. Here are a few of my favorites.
Believe in people even before they believe in themselves. Tina arrives at The Beef and meets Mikey when she is down and out, desperate for a job of any kind. Later, when Carmy arrives to take over the restaurant, he disrupted everything she had gotten comfortable with ("system, baby"), and she pushed back hard. Working under Carmy and Sydney, she allowed herself to evolve, embracing the chance to go to culinary school and learning all she could because she remained curious, open. Ultimately, she became Syd's CDC - and stepped into a version of herself she didn't even imagine. All she needed was someone to believe she was capable of more.
Invest in people. When they decided to turn The Beef into The Bear, they didn't go out and look for an experienced crew - they decided to invest in the team and uplevel them. They helped people become new and enhanced versions of themselves. Carmy and Syd sent them to learn from pros and trusted that the team would rise to the occasion. Sweeps knew nothing about wine at the start and ended up turning their wine service into a success and himself into a sommelier. Richie found a side of himself at Ever that he didn't know existed and unleashed a talent for creating unreasonable hospitality. None of that would have been possible if their leadership hadn't invested in the education and experiences that make that discovery possible.
Do new things - things that scare you. Marcus going to Copenhagen is one of my favorite arcs. He didn't know what he was walking into, but he went anyway. What he came back with - new skills, confidence, inspiration, and a friend in Luca - none of that was available to him without taking the leap. At the end of the series, Richie is doing the same thing as we see him on an airplane for the first time, on his way to Japan. Getting comfortable with being uncomfortable unlocks so much in life.
Dress the part, and you become the part. We first meet Neil Fak as a handyman - fixing things, hovering, chaotic and beloved in equal measure. And then he put on a suit and stepped into the front of house, and something shifted - not just in how other people saw him but in how he saw himself. Richie did the same when he put on that suit after his time at Ever. Tina did the same when she put on that blue apron for the first time. Syd did when she put on the custom Thom Browne that Carmy had made for her. Behavior follows identity, and sometimes you have to literally change your clothes to start the shift in how you see yourself. That's not pretending to be someone else - that's becoming a new version of you.
The student can become the teacher. Luca taught Marcus everything during his time in Copenhagen as a stage. And then Luca came to stage under Marcus at The Bear. The person who taught you shows up at your door to learn from you, to support who you have become. That required a lot of confidence and inner anchoring from each of them. When we recognize that we are always able to be a student, we can enjoy the process of learning no matter who is our teacher. In the end, their friendship and bond was one of the most solid of the series.
Not everyone is meant to lead - and recognizing that is its own kind of leadership. Carmy is extraordinary as a chef, but he is not a natural leader - Sydney is. One of the most quietly powerful things Carmy does in the entire series is recognize that, and step back to let her lead. That was his ultimate commitment to The Bear, and to Mikey's legacy: to recognize that he was not meant to be at the helm. Sometimes the most important leadership decision you make is knowing when to hand it over.
Just because you're known for something doesn't mean it's all you can do. Carmy recognizing that he actually doesn't love cooking anymore is one of the most human arcs in the show. He started working in kitchens as a way to prove himself to his brother and to escape his family. He ended up being really good at it and let that drive become an obsession with excellence. But coming back home, navigating personal relationships with his mom Donna and with Claire, and allowing himself to explore other interests like architecture, started to tear away at the identity he had created in those kitchens. Syd created a way forward for him, and the opportunity to change his life while also honoring his brother. And neither of them could have seen that coming when she walked into The Beef on that first day. She didn't know what she was capable of either.
That's what made that final hug so meaningful for me - the true love and appreciation they felt for what they had created for The Bear, and for each other.
In the end, they were All Good. (If you know, you know.)
The question I'll leave you with this week:
Which one of these landed for you - and is there someone in your life right now who you might be underestimating?
Lisa English, ACC, CMM is a Leadership and Executive Coach with deep expertise in Meetings, Events, and Travel. The Weekly 1:1™ publishes every Tuesday at 8am PT. Subscribe at lisaenglishsg.substack.com or subscribe below.